“Sometimes I just need to remember what it is like to feel alive. Long enough to understand how I got here in the first place. There was a time when I thought I knew it all, had it all, wanted for nothing. Then all of a sudden it was gone, taken away by a force that washed me away like a flood of memories, powerful unforgiving, yet familiar enough for me to want to ride that wave, and keep on going cresting above and beyond the world that I had become so entrenched in. I wanted to feel what it was like to be somewhere so far and so different that my life could no longer feel the same. I wanted to see where the torrent was taking me.
I settled in a distant gap between sleep and waking, unaware of how long or how far I had come or been away from all that was familiar. I wasn’t confused just indifferent, full of something I had never before experienced. Inner peace. I think that’s what it was. In this place I could truly contemplate what had meant the most to me, but I could no longer pinpoint the origin of this desire. I couldn’t see from which direction these thoughts had hailed. I found names and faces, places, memories tastes, sensations coming to me from places that I knew but could no longer recognise. I didn’t need to recognise them, just acknowledge them for the experiences that they were. I was afloat on a current of energies that bore me adrift to distant shores, so far removed from me. But what was I now? What did I feel that was Mine anymore? My focus would change and fluctuate like the shape-shifting clouds that once travelled and decorated a sky that I had vague recollection of. My reach was infinite it seemed. All I had to do was think about something, in fact not even think, just be and images would come to me. I’d look at them, watching how they transformed and morphed into new images, new experiences before me, constantly changing, reforming, whispering echos of new familiarity. My thoughts were everywhere I wanted them to be, everywhere I remember them needing to be. I was not Me anymore, I was more than my narrow focus had once been, still was in some distant land.
I discovered I could draw upon an image and step into it, feel what it felt, experience the colours of its machinations, its enterprises and discoveries. Creative fecundity. Nurturing intent into finely honed reality, allowing my thoughts to encompass a universal understanding that was more than I could bear in one form alone. I was everywhere, all the time, all at once. A pulsing conscious entity that had once had a name, a face, a vision. I miss the taste of lemons crushed over my tongue. I miss the ability to forget and to experience the narrow focus of my old self. If I can just relearn how, then I can return. Be me once again, beautiful , stupid, narrow-minded me with a tongue to taste lemons and kiss the ground, kiss your face, look into your eyes that I helped create. Wipe away the tears that fear loss, feel their warmth on my skin; the taste of the oceans of remembering in them.
I know now that I can come and go as I please, remember and forget at will. Be and not be. Sigh and not sigh. Breathe and be inhaled. All splinters do indeed grow to be tall beautiful useful, and very clever trees.”
(By Daniel)
IshaiyaFreshlySqueezed 
This is a very beautiful entry!!!
Thank you, it’s making me cry uncontrollably! lol
“to go there, without knowing where.”
Saw that quote yesterday. Seems to belong here.
[A sincere nod of gratitude in your direction], I’m a little blown away by the whole experience. I was left with a little gem: “It’s not god that you are feeling, it’s other people”. Night John x
how nice
It was an experience that’s for sure. Glad you liked that line 🙂
I never understand stuff like this…I am a Neanderthal. 😉
Nothing to understand, just go with the flow, it’s either gonna tickle your fancy bits or not 😉 Thanks for stopping by though, always a pleasure to have your company here…
wow, the minute I read that, I felt like I had been the one to send it to you. While kayaking the other morning I tried to inhale everything around me, including my connection to God at the moment, and sent it to you, while staring at His glory all around me. I included you in my prayers, saying “show her You”… but, maybe you got this from someone else. Even so, I wanted to tell you. Have a blessed day! 🙂
Funny because I was thinking about you when I channelled it. The message was in part for you. Thank you for sending me your kind thoughts. 🙂
it was the splinters that gave you away, or me rather! haha that and to bare it all, it just sinks in my soul when I contemplate the lost, the horrible path most are on, never once tasting the greatest gifts here. (ps..I hate lemons..lmao) other than that, you were spot on. And most importantly, I DO want to see where this torrent takes me, I truly can’t wait to meet God. Just to sit at His feet and ask Him how He did it all?
and me finally realizing my dream of writing…you’re good Ishaiya, you picked up on more than I was sending.
but I’m curious, while thinking of you, I did a complete circle in my kayak so you could see what I saw….so did you see the glory? the utter beauty I saw too??? I would love to know you did. just a bit of love sent in peace from far away. 🙂
Well the splinters referred to a conversation I had with someone yesterday. And the piece itself was a message from the entity I call Daniel. You were in my thoughts, but it was the final message that I was left with that was meant for you. These things work in multifaceted ways, and will be relevant to all who read it in whatever way is beneficial for them. So it wasn’t directly intended for anyone in particular, but I’m pleased that you got something from it. I personally had an epiphany, but that was for me, and just confirmed what I already believe.
so what was your epiphony? I’m dying to know…lol feel free to tell me to shut up! lol
That the divinity I feel within me comes from other people. Short and sweet. But it knocked me off my feet at the time.
wow, you really think there are PEOPLE who are divine? 😉
I know that everyone is Shards. People is all there is, and we are more divine than we are often given credit for.
I feel it all the time, and that feeling only gets stronger when I make a direct connection with someone else. 🙂
well sweety, we’ll have to agree to disagree there, I know of no one I can think of that I would call divine. I think we are all working towards it, or more like working towards being what I call Holy, but divine to me is perfection, and I hate to say it out loud, but most leave much to be desired..myself included…. and you already know my views about God, so I won’t go there cause you know I believe there is so much more out there than just inhumane humans! hehe… 😉 have a wonderful 4th of July, (if you’re in the US)
I think it’s a shame that you have such a negative view of your world my lovely. Do you believe that you are the only who feels the divine flowing through them?
I do know your views about god, and I’m sorry that my alternate positive take on things ruffles your feathers a little. But there you are, there is nothing that can be done about that. I don’t doubt what I believe in, such things only cause misery and misunderstanding. I know what I see in people, and I know and trust the messages I get, I have no reason not to. How can any of us hope to change and evolve if we do not entertain new ideas, and a positive attitude?
The 4th of July is my Uncle’s birthday, nothing more 🙂 Here in the UK it’s just another wet summer’s day. You enjoy your Independence Day!
on no Ishaiya, it doesn’t ruffle my feathers at all, it just saddens me that there is soo much hate and anger and violence and selfishness in the world. I would LOVE to see the divine in others, and I DO see lots of wonderful people and their blogs all the time, but divine?? No, that word only applies to God or Yeshuah, for me. What I feel flowing through me is Love, plain and simple. I’ve never felt anything like divine, and it would blow my mind !!! haha what does divine feel like? I’d love to feel that, but have no idea.
If you’re using the word divine to discribe pure love, well yes, I feel that all the time, but for some reason, inside my head…..eeeek…..divine should be better than that. It should be pure love, goodness, all knowledge, all WISDOM…ALL POWERFUL….etc. I have no idea what that would feel like. lol
did you read my post from a few days ago, titled He is Unnameable? if not, go re read the 2nd paragraph…I think you will find it very interesting, and very similar to your own feelings…it is Jesus, or Yeshuah, explaining God to his disciples…in the scripture called The Sophia (or knowledge) of Jesus Christ, in the Nag Hammadi scriptures… and I’d love to see what you think, after you read it?
ok, have a wonderful wet day with your Uncle! 🙂