My Dodgy Heart – Anyone got a spanner?

Hamma bead heart made for me by my daughter Grace
My daughter Grace made this for me…

I probably shouldn’t be on here posting anything at all. My partner has already pointed out to me this morning that I don’t get enough rest, and that the reason my heart is doing a merry dance and I’m having difficulty breathing is because of this. He may have a point. But I also have many health problems despite the fact that on the face of it I am probably fitter than most people given the amount of exercise I do in a week, to add to that I don’t smoke and I don’t consume alcohol (rarely).

Some of you may be thinking “crikey she seems to have been ill quite a lot lately”, sadly you’d be right. The older I become, the more frequent these episodes seem to occur. Perhaps my most worrying and troublesome condition is the Ventricular/Cardiac Arrhythmia, although I would imagine that I suffer with several different types of arrhythmia given that the underlying causes prevent regular functioning of my blood-pressure and heart-rate in general.

The crushing feeling I have in my windpipe right now, and since last night is however a relatively new development in my symptoms. The first time I experienced this was back in April, and I was packed and ready to go to hospital, having given strict instructions to my 9 year old daughter to call an ambulance if I stopped breathing, much to her horror. It was very scary the first time around. Although it did pass eventually without any hospital visits necessary.

Stopping breathing is not what worries me though (although it probably should), it’s my heart giving out at the drop of a hat that gives me cause for concern, mainly because those kinds of symptoms are extremely painful and debilitating, let alone potentially damaging, and at the worst fatal. Angina symptoms are probably some of the most unpleasant that I could choose to experience in terms of personal affliction. Joint and muscles pain I can deal with, but heart pain is not on my wish list. Why am I telling you this? As usual I don’t really know other than I just felt I needed to, so following my good old intuition I am writing about it, as much as it’s not the kind of reading you might want to indulge in on a Sunday afternoon. Sorry.

I’m not really vying for sympathy, but I’m hoping that by revelling in your lovely energies I might just get through this quicker. It worked the last time.
I can’t tell you often enough how much I appreciate the hospitality and friendship of all my readers. I have grown quite used to you all being part of my life, over the past year, and I’m not sure I’m quite ready to give you up yet. You are a bloody wonderful bunch, and I just wanted to remind you all (as if you didn’t already know)!

Not that I’m gushing at all…. much πŸ˜‰ Joseph tells me I’ll be fine. I guess if anyone would know, he would…

M/Ish x


48 thoughts on “My Dodgy Heart – Anyone got a spanner?

    1. Thank you Mia! I hope you are well. The last time this happened I did the same and posted about it, the flowing day I had no symptoms at all after six weeks! Sometimes we need other people’s help πŸ™‚
      Warmest regards

  1. Ishaiya, I think it’s fantastic that you tell your story about your problems and illness -so worth sharing and it also helps you in the process …. Our hearts is a serious matter and you have to take care of yourself, but hopefully that it doesn’t have to stop you from living an everyday life.
    I’m sure that you will okay, but you have to re-arrange your life quite bit … and that is not easy, with small children … Fantastic that you have told your children how to do if something happens to you, not an easy thing to put such a big responsibility on to them. Understand that your husband is worried for you, but I think it’s important that you do what you really feel for doing and do it in your own speed.
    Is there anything they can do for you ???? Any operation ????
    I wish I was able to write about my journey with my cancer – it would help me in my worries, but I started – but it brought back to much of the heavy stuff I went through. Even if I never thought or was scared for that I would die from the cancer, but I wanted to die during the end of my treatments – but that was a totally different thing.
    I believe strongly in that you will be fine … and your have the right spirit. It’s only an unsafe path you have to walk along until then. I will be there with you, neither beside you or just behind you.

    1. My heart is an ongoing daily problem, but most of the time it’s manageable. Every now and again though my symptoms worsen. My nervous system doesn’t regulate my heart too well, so its rhythm is very erratic. Not much can be done about it without causing other complications. According to my cardiologist I have a strong heart, so surgery is not seen as a necessary option, although it’s been a few years since I saw him. But then I didn’t have the new symptom where my throat feels very tight.
      I don’t particularly want to die any time soon, but I’ve come to terms with it. The heart problems happens frequently enough that I have a very realistic view of my life.
      I agree that it’s good to share these things as it relieves some of the burden in some ways.
      I’m pleased that you feel able to tell me a little of your own condition. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through, but you have all my love and support, and I am very moved and honoured that you choose to stand beside me. You are a wonderful person Viveka, and I appreciate that you tell me to do things at my own pace, thank you for that.

      1. Ishaiya, you are an young beautiful woman, so dying should be so far off your list – but I can image when you have problems with breathing .. that thoughts and panic will rush.
        It’s more than okay to write about medical conditions, but it has to be mixed with other subject too … because otherwise it weary out both yourself and the readers. A mixer of laughter and tears … and always remember that you have the same right to your tears as to your laughter.
        It’s good to share .. and it helps you in the process too. I was very lonely as a child .. so I wrote letters to people I heard on radio – about my joy, worries .. and thoughts. Wrote and wrote .. and when finished I read them time after time … and then I tore them – and life was so much easier then. I wish today I had saved my letters. Writing helps. So just carry on doing it. *smile

      2. That you remember the letters you wrote is still a special and valuable memory. Hold on to it. Dying is dying and it will happen when it’s my time. In the meantime I intend to write as much as possible and hopefully entertain rather than bore and depress! LOL
        I think it’s good to challenge my readers, and views about life in general, in every way possible. So as much as I really don’t want to talk about how I feel, I know that when my intuition compels me to then it is serving a positive purpose not just for me but for others, if only in saying things that others might find difficult. There is therapy in that. I prefer laughter and happiness, and enjoying good conversation, but nothing should ever be off the table in terms of subjects to be discussed.
        I need to visit your blog and check out your NY photos. I’ve not been around on WP too much lately because of study commitments. But I feel I need to visit New York soon, maybe you will give me the inspiration I need [smile].

  2. I’m never any good discussing health stuff.
    I have a bit of a ‘dicky heart’ now and then, something to do with a floppy valve, whatever the hell that is?
    I was once advised i might need surgery, which was enough to scare the shit out me and vow that I would never have surgery….

    So far so good. And you know I quit smoking, so that helps.

    Don’t know much about arrhythmia, but I do know extended spells on the PC compresses the chest and this definitely causes breathing issues, so when I’m working I try to break every hour and walk around the garden. and I jog too. And my kids reckon the electrical field generated by the pc (laptop) maybe have a few adverse effects after extended exposure. Don;t know about that, but I guess it’s worth considering?
    The there’s too much coffee of course.

    Watch funny things. This changes the rhythm of the mind and the body.So I’ve heard…

    1. You know I don’t normally talk about my health as all of my conditions are chronic, it gets a bit tedious, also I really dislike people feeling sorry for me. I only mention it when it’s really bad, and I realised that a little support can be a good thing. What’s to loose right?
      If only it were as simple as cutting coffee out, but I’ve had the heart issues since I was quite young before my coffee drinking career started in earnest.
      I do subscribe to laughter therapy, although too much of it raises the heart-rate which in my case is what I’m trying to avoid!
      Thank you for the video though, we watch this often in our house. Great fun. Thank you D’Ark πŸ˜‰ x

  3. I do subscribe to laughter therapy, although too much of it raises the heart-rate which in my case is what I’m trying to avoid!

    Then laughing during sex must scare the pants off you . πŸ™‚

      1. Under such circumatances it is the one activity where one could be coming and going if one wasn’t careful. Lol…

        I shall quit while I am ahead and go and fetch some coffee and a slice of cake.

      2. Be careful what you wish for as they say, but I guess if you had a conscious choice. Mind you for me personally it would have to be pretty mind-blowing sex for me to want to pop my clogs at that point…

  4. Sending healing energies your way Ish, I suppose it’s the best way I can help. I am glad you let us in on these challenges and fears. It makes you more and more of a real friend and connection not just a virtual one. I think you will be okay, but also listen to your partner cuase he lives with you and probably knows the intricacies of this a bit being by your side? Who cares about Sunday reading or not, speak about what you must friend.

    I’m listening anyway.

    Feel better M.


    1. Thank you so much T for your loving support it is much appreciated. Along with all the other wonderful messages and positive energy I got yesterday, I can say today I’m feeling much improved. You are right though, despite my partner’s apparent indifference at times, he is very aware of my symptoms and does his best to take care of me when I’m feeling really bad.
      Thank you for being such a good friend.

      Hugs to you too

      1. πŸ™‚

        Really glad you are feeling better M. And it’s lovely to hear you’ve gotten support at this time from your WP followers. It’s pretty important, we’re not just words sprawled out on a computer screen.

        Also glad to hear the acknowledgement of your partner’s voice, as I think most of us do the best we can with our families. But, no one is perfect. Still in the most dire of times when we do respond, it is important for our loved one know our caring is at work.

        Otherwise those moments can be more frightening.

        I hope your health continues to stabilize M and will pray about it, as I do for a loved one having her own challenges right now. It’s my little way to send light, so focus on it from all sides.

        But – GET MORE REST. πŸ˜‰

        More Hugs,

      2. Thank you T for your prayers, and I will be sending you and your loved one my loving thoughts too.
        I’m lucky I guess that my partner does support me when I really need it, that kind of trust takes a long time to build I think.
        REST yes, I’m not so good with that one. I don’t always get the opportunity either. Like everything in life it’s a fine balance, or maybe it isn’t. I wonder about these things lately.
        Anyway, love and hugs back to you πŸ™‚

      3. M,

        Thank-you for your loving thoughts back, regarding my loved one. πŸ™‚ Hmm, understand what you’re saying about trust. It does take a long time..

        Well luv, get better at it. O_o Or soon, you’ll have the kids telling you too lol.

        Yeah I know this question of fine balance, it’s a question in my mind as well. Anyway, have a peaceful night…

        Much love!

  5. Maria, I’m sorry to hear about your health issues. Your blog is so full of vibrant life it’s difficult to imagine you ailing in any way. I for one appreciate you sharing this on your blog as I do believe our blogging community fills many of the functions of an extended family. This should not be too surprising as we choose to share so many of our cherished thoughts and beliefs in our posts. Those who has read and appreciated these posts over time have a connection with us, not that different from good friends. Anyway, right now there are plenty of healthy vibes and thoughts winging their way to you from sunny San Francisco.

    1. Thank you so much Malcolm for your kind and always insightful words, I really appreciate your friendship and support. You are quite right in saying that the WP community is like an extended family, I see it that way too. It’s always wonderful to see familiar faces such as yours, knowing that most of us here lead very busy lives, it’s a real privilege to know that people are willing to take the time to visit.
      All the healthy vibes I’ve been receiving since yesterday seem to have worked exceptionally well. I’m feeling much improved today, though tired.
      Have a great week Malcolm!

      Warm Regards

  6. sweetheart… PLEASE go out and buy some REAL Licorice herbal tea, it not only will calm your racing heart, but it improves circulation immensely!!! if you have a real licorice plant, even better when you dry it yourself, and make tea from freshly dried. another REALLY good one is Hawthorne!!! it can protect the heart against oxygen deprivation and the development of abnormal rhythms. It dilates coronary blood vessels, improving the flow of blood to the heart. It strengthens the heart muscle, too!!!! please try not to take too many drugs, and try the teas instead, both each morning, and I kid you not, you will feel sooo much better. and of course, I always pray you reach out to God, and ask Him for help, even if you don’t believe, just asking can bring peace in your heart!! and as always, I will also pray for you, too! take care!!! πŸ™‚

  7. Heavy stuff indeed. Usually I try to offer a few suggestions to try to improve health but not this timeβ€”it would be presumptuous (and superfluous).

    But for what it is worth, you have the very best hopes and wishes of Argus. Not many can say that …

    Now stop damn’ well faffing about and get well~!

  8. Always good to get it out and yep, getting ‘younger’ ain’t for sissies. LOL! I know what you are talking about hon. You take care and get enough rest. Thinking of you. πŸ˜€ *big hugs*

  9. Just come across your blog thanks to your like on my blog, much appreciated. As a retired health care professional, I urge you to see your doctor if you are experiencing new symptoms….. Please!

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