The Daily Flannel: In My Deep House

I am no good before a certain time of the day. It used to be that up until midday any decisions I made were terrible based on the awful mood I’d be in as my brain and my body tried in a desperate attempt to adjust to being awake again. Just to put things into context, I wake up daily with a lot of physical pain and stiffness, I’d like to say it’s down to old age, but that doesn’t really qualify in my case. Perhaps old age in terms of being an old soul, some people will tell you I was born old. They may be right about that, although the older I get the sillier I find myself becoming, so it all works out in the end. These days I tend not to be so good before three in the afternoon, sometimes later. As I write this I am aware that I am still in the red-zone as it’s only just pipping midday, a minute before in fact. Hurdle number one.
Generally I have come to understand my pre-afternoon states much better since my days of working 18 hour days herding cattle passengers onto aircraft, and dancing wildly to deep house music. Though not at the same time. I know then not to listen to my complacent mind before that time, as I know without fail that my mood will pick up thereafter, and I am able to make more rational decisions, and have better interactions with others.

What fascinates me is how acutely aware I have become of the chemical changes in my body and how they affect my moods and my ability to make positive decisions, and that going on yesterday’s post where I was talking about emotional intensities as being the pivotal point of experience and memory, it seems clear to me how this would shape my own personal narrative in very specific ways, and indeed explains much about who I believe myself to be.

Scientifically speaking emotions are no more than chemical reactions within the body, and if like me you have a control centre that is slightly defunct, and by this I refer to the neural cortex, the part that instructs the nervous system to function in the way that it does, then I understand in some way that I am slightly beholden to it. Although, me being who I am, and thinking the way that I do, I do not believe that this is the whole story. I also understand that we are not purely physical beings, and as Seth or Sidiris would say: the human form is not the sum of its parts.

At this point I understand how Jane Roberts used to feel when faced with a concept that went against conventionally accepted thinking. She would prefer to channel Seth, than try to deal with the subject herself from her particular, and sometimes jaded conscious focus. I have to remind myself that my physical state is very much a product of my thinking and not the other way around, if indeed we are going to treat this in terms of a line of progression, again highlighting the difficulty I raised in yesterday’s post in expressing non-linear concepts through the regimented order of language at least. As I have come to understand consciousness as expressed through the human condition, it is a simultaneous act. Thought and physical expression are interconnected. Both are facets of the same intent. One cannot be divorced from the other.

I know I talk about intent a lot, and from my current vantage point, ensconced within the role of Self that I currently inhabit and aspire to emulate, it would be easy to assume that such ‘intent’, or underlying motivation to behave in the way that I do is generated from me, by me. Although, the expression of the human endeavour isn’t like that at all as I have learned through years of conventional explanations falling way short of the mark of satisfying my curiosity.

For instance, I have known and accepted from a very young age that my thoughts and the thoughts of others around me were connected. I was able to read people, and assumed they could naturally do the same with me. I still think that, in fact I know that to be true, even though there is a distinct possibility that others may not be as aware of it as I am. When I was introduced to the Seth books, and the concept of metaphysics, and indeed Quantum Physics, much around the same time I might add, in my mid to late teens, my own trains of thought and conclusions at that point began to be validated. It was an epiphany because I understood that there was a wider stream of influence at work, than just my imagination alone. Although in certain ways that is a loaded statement, because the imagination is exactly where those underlying conscious intentions are to be experienced with more clarity than the singularity of physical awareness affords.

So when I refer to intent now, I refer to that wider stream of influence, or of consciousness that co-exists with our physical forms, and that has just as much influence on our behaviour, on my personal behaviour and thought patterns, as do the chemical fluctuations within my brain and body, and that it is most likely that my personal manifestation of the ‘greater’ intent at work is part of a wider pattern of influence that involves many others, and particularly those that I apparently ‘draw’ into my field of perception and thus experience. It validates my own conclusions that the people I have personal encounters with, whether face to face, or through my writing for example, have a vested interest as I do in participating in the same energy. It works on the premise that where there is a need, there is a response to that need. You might then ask yourself, as I know I would: where is the need in experiencing physical pain, or mental fog before a certain hour of the day, and why as an ‘outsider’ would I want to engage in that energy?

To which I would say: good question, but if you and I are engaging in it, then there is a good reason for it. There must be something that can be learned, or gained from its experience. For me at least, being the way that I am makes me ask certain questions, and questions will always lead to new ways of looking at things. They lead to resolution and release, and hopefully a better way of thinking.

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