I tell myself that I am relatively fixed in who I am, or at least in how I perceive myself to be. I have my familiar patterns of thought and behaviour that seem to permeate my daily existence, as I remember it and continue to be aware of it. Except there are other worldly experiences that leak into my quotidian awareness that I know if I grasp will lead me along roads not yet travelled by at least this notional compilation of selves currently known as ‘me’.
There is a tangible excitement, and sense of beauty within everything for me most days, even though whisps of sadness and confusion darken the landscape from time to time like clouds passing, threatening rain. Perhaps I’m responding to the colour combinations outside, as I sit and ponder what I’ve just said, just as was explained to me in the previous channelled piece, ‘Pumpkins have feelings’*.
Perhaps this feeling of innate creativity, of enthusiasm just bubbling beneath the surface of usual awareness is really quite normal. This is what I/we should be feeling all of the time. Imagine that?
I think it’s generally known as the phenomenon of being contented.
Perhaps, however, if I might speculate further, it is an awareness of my greater self, that inner landscape, the Universe, All That Is, whatever you want to term it. The greater consciousness of which I and you are a part.
With age, and particularly in recent years I am less taken to sitting on the fence about what it is I think I understand. Sitting on the fence comes at the cost of trying to keep both yourself and others happy, and as a result having your opinions divided unnecessarily in order to maintain a semblance of acceptability in the eyes of the so-called masses. I, on the other hand, have come to the conclusion that I just don’t care what other people think, especially if it goes against what I understand to be valid and salient, for me at least. No amount of convincing me that I only have one arm when I know I have two will sway me, or indeed encourage me to support your views if they do not support mine. And that’s how it is with much of what I write about here and with regards to what I believe at any given moment in my life. Learning to uphold one’s personal integrity in the face of potentially detrimental opposition is an important and difficult lesson to learn in life, however, it is necessary if you are intent on attaining a sense of inner peace and contentment. Doubting ones’ own integrity is tantamount to suicide. It causes irreparable damage both psychologically and physically, to oneself and others, and is a mighty difficult habit to break once it has become firmly ingrained. We as humans, this human, needs positive reinforcement, repeatedly, via a mutual reciprocation of valued communication. Life is really quite meaningless otherwise.
What strikes me in particular when I have talked to others about the concepts that I hold so dear is that the definitions affixed to our current lexicon need to be updated somewhat. Words are taken out of their original context because they have been marred by years of social bastardisation. Words like, ‘beliefs’, ‘truth’, ‘consciousness’, ‘awareness’, ‘change’. In explaining concepts in a new way we often need to create a new lexis so that we can facilitate the new form of discourse. This is precisely what happened back in the 15-1600s when the english language began to be expanded by those wishing to talk about new scientific principles. They had to make new words up in order to be able to explain the nuances of experience they were trying to capture.
The english language and its prescribed meanings is a direct reflection of popular thought and practise, and it simply, as it currently stands is not capable of integrating new concepts without a consensus of newly acquired meanings. So, the major hurdle in translating many of the ideas I and others talk about with regards to the nature of beliefs and our perceptions of reality, with any kind of success, is language itself, and the commonly, and dare I say often erroneous interpretations of that language by those who have become comfortable with widely accepted pat definitions.
It’s probably safe to say that most people aren’t even aware of a languages’ etymology, or indeed the precise dictionary definition of the words they commonly use, nor should they especially care, so long as they are able to communicate effectively during their day to day affairs. After all that is exactly what language is for.
However, when we use our language to explore new concepts and structures of beliefs, we need to understand that our current definitions may not be adequate, and therefore be prepared to suspend judgement in favour of perhaps learning something new, and therefore expanding one’s own field of comprehension and awareness, and indeed lexis.
I have adopted a certain role in my life, not entirely out of choice, but out of sheer disposition. I make no excuses for myself, nor do I expect others to willingly entertain my views. That’s up to you. You are your own person with your own quite valid experiences and knowledge. As I see it I am a facilitator, of course this is a more up to date and fangled version of ‘teacher’, it’s a little more current and ‘buzzy’ than ‘teacher’, which sounds very old fashioned and a tad authoritarian. Not that I care particularly either way. Either way, that is the role I accept as my own in life. I facilitate/teach change by challenging long established concepts and introducing new ways of thinking. I was just born this way, and no matter how much I have tried not to be this way throughout my life, I also understand that the way in which I understand the world is utterly unique to me and is worthy of sharing. Sue me. No different than a person who dedicates their life to a singular career or pursuit. Call it a passion, a calling, whatever. It’s what I’m good at. Like with any calling, however, there are often times when we are just shouting in the wind trying to make progress, trying to excel in our accepted role. Anyone who has tried to cut their teeth as a bona fide author by dedicating years of their life to writing books knows what I’m talking about. Indeed anyone who has attempted to carve their own unique groove in the vinyl of history can relate to this in some way.
As I see it, we are all facilitators of change. We all help turn the wheels of life in very distinct ways. Generators of experience through our thoughts and subsequent actions. Indeed the whole of history hangs on the balance of the next unspoken word, or anticipated action. We are all experience junkies, addicted to the endorphin rush that lets us know we have done or experienced something good and of value. It’s those internal happy chemicals that make us smile at the simplest of things, except that the emotional impact and the meaning we create and garner from it is deeply significant. These are the kinds of experiences we all yearn to amass throughout our lives. These moments of pleasure are what gives us that sense of inner peace and contentment that we all search heaven and earth to recreate, and to espouse. So simple, yet so illogically impossible to get our heads around most of the time. As President Obama said in a speech over the summer this year to a group of college graduates, “ ignorance is not a virtue”, yet we all at some point or another in our lives play the ignorant card in favour of social acceptance. We all have sat on that questionable fence while calculating our next defensive move, while denying our own quite valid needs. It may be a strategically clever thing to do at the time, but it serves only to perpetuate further ignorance, and stunts progress and growth in unfathomable ways.
Our unique gift as human beings is that we are unique, and so we have things to offer one another that nobody else is equipped or capable of offering in quite the same way. We all form a piece of a much larger puzzle that would seem incomplete without each of us, and our very active input. It simply is not acceptable to plead ignorance and to negate our very validity by quietly divorcing ourselves of an endeavour we are inextricably a part of, and as a consequence accountable for, like it or not. This endeavour I refer to is of course the human endeavour, life in general. It is therefore inexcusable to believe that we are scientific accidents with no purpose. Even if that were true, our very existence still serves a purpose and has consequences for the wider existence of the human race. Everything we do and say has consequential influence, whether it is deemed to be beneficial or detrimental.
So, where does this all leave us?
Well, it should leave us in a position of strength. Our willingness to be open-minded and thus receptive to new ideas and concepts is in fact much more conducive to generating feelings of value and contentment, and the experiences that subsequently emerge and become woven into the fabric of our mental, emotional and physical landscapes. World peace isn’t about a consensus of values, it’s about tending to our own unique corner of the universe and cutting ourselves and others slack so that we all have room to move in the way that most benefits each of us, without unduly kicking somebody else in the ribs. Difficult perhaps, but not impossible. The first step is in accepting what we are not, that being an ambivalent accident of astrological origin. Get over it. Like the cat says: Being in denial does not make you a Pharaoh.
* I shall endeavour to post this particular piece soon.